When Your One Night Stand Doesnt Realize He’s A One Night Stand And Becomes Delusional About The Relationship You Don’t Have

So The Giant keeps texting me and cant seem to realize that he was just a One Night Stand.

He keeps texting me to meet up and I tell him “No.”

He;s completely delusional about the relationship that he and I dont have.

He’s even had the audacity to say that he thinks that I have been thinking about being with him and raising children…

ARE YOU FUCKIN KIDDING ME??????

GROSS!

Now I have to find a nice and polite way to tell him that its obvious I dont like him and he’s not getting it.

A Classic Case of :When Your One Night Stand Doesn’t Realize He’s A One Night Stand And Becomes Delusional About The Relationship You Don’t Have.

Falling in Love: A Love Story/Romantic Comedy

Ah I’ve had an interesting week. I may have fallen in love. Not with a pot, they’re too old . This is a love story, its going to be long.
So Im quite aware that I am a hot commodity at work. I try not to toot my own horn but there is roughly a dozen men after me. That is just the men below 30 that I work with. That doesn’t include the vendors, delivery boys, older men I work with, and of course the men who walk in to shop. Of all of them, there is only one that caught my attention. I remember the first time I saw him. My heart skipped a beat. I was walking towards the back and turned around. There he was just standing there, looking at me, cutting down a box. There are few times I see a guy and I get the wind knocked out of me. I was curious and intrigued, and wanted to know more. His head was shaved and he had this insanely thick beard. He looked like a terrorist. Like, really. A terrorist. So I went up to him and said “Hey Ahmed, what’s up?” He just looked at me with this blank stare, looked left and right. I had offended him. I just said “No? Okay. Whatever.” and walked off. So whenever I saw him around work, I would come up with a different middle eastern, or muslim name and got the same response. A blank stare. Once, he didn’t even bother to look at me. He kept walking, pulling a flatbed of half empty boxes. Thats when I decided, that he was the only man in the building who didn’t think my antics were cute or adorable. I had decided to grow a pair and apologize. (Another thing I do not do. EVER.) On another day, I was working and my old team lead came up to me and says “You know who I see you with? The guy with the funny handlebar mustache.”
Me: “Someone here has a handlebar mustache??”
Her: ” Yeah, he looks spanish, has a beard…”
Here he comes walking up. The guy I keep offending.
Me: “Oooooh! You mean Bobby!” I point at him.
He waves back.
Later that day I was working and Bobby comes up to me and asks how I’m doing. I told him I thought he was mad with me because of all the names I kept calling him. Come to find out, he’s 50% deaf in both ears. Which is why he always looked at me with a blank stare. To him, I was just standing there and shortly after, getting pissed and walking away. He never heard the names I called him. He never heard me. The hearing in his right ear is worse than his left. It had all made sense. FF a few months. He and I always say hello and wave to each other. We sneak looks at each other at work. I cant wait to see him. My heart skips a beat when I hear his funny voice. Sometimes I’m just completely speechless. I was in love. I cant believe it. I’m really in love.
Last week I was working with my friend Ray. He’s like an older brother to me. Soooooo NICE. Great guy. Bobby kept walking up and down my area. Us flirtatiously looking at each other, smirking, smiling…. enticing each other. Cant describe how I feel! So I told Ray, “If he doesn’t ask me for my phone number before his shift is over, I swear to god I’m going to beat his ass…” Ray falls over laughing. Ray leaves for the restroom and pulls Bobby aside.
Ray says he told Bobby to get my number. Apparently, everyone is after me and he’s the only guy I have my eye on. Ray gets help from Bobbys best friend Ro. Ro tells him “Look, all these guys are after her and she doesnt even give them a ‘hello’.”
Bobby: “She says ‘hello’ to me all the time”
Ro and Ray: EXACTLY!
Before he left to go home, Bobby asked me to put my cell phone number in his cell. He sent me a text less than an hour later. Came back during my lunch break so he and I could talk. The next day we went out for lunch. The day after our lunch date we went to see The Raven. Today we went out to play some pool. I made the biggest mistake and out of nowhere, I wasn’t thinking, I was in the moment. I said “I loveth thee”. He quickly replied with “What was that?” I said “nothing!” and he says “Are you sure?” I say “yeah”. I hope to god that I said it in his bad ear and he really didn’t hear me. This is so weird….The other day, the tables had turned on me. I was suddenly the madly in love boyfriend that I always had. I had texted Bobby “I miss you” while only being away from him for less than 12 hours. I had lost my mind, and my heart is now running the show. Hes everything I want in a lover. Hes got the funky mohawk, the tattoos, the artistic edge, hes blended with Filipino and Hawaiian. Tall and attractive. He’s open minded and affectionate. He sees me as an equal. He’s older but not too much older. He’s honest, sincere, He’s perfect.

Egh….The Only Man I wont Let Go #Max

This is so sad. He texts me “I sort of miss you” literally the day after I deleted his number from my phone book. Why do hearts ache and loins stir for men who have no real interest in you?
#SelfDestruction

Trying To Get Rid Of The Giant #FatalAttraction

I’m trying to get rid of The Giant. I give it up to this guy and he wont leave me alone. He texted me the other day and I ignored him thinking he would take the hint. It didn’t work. Then he sends me a text today saying “I really think you would be very easy to fall in love with.” Shit. I’ve been avoiding him and he has the audacity to text me “really I want to see you baby and I really get the feeling you want to see me.” It couldn’t be further from the truth. I swear to god this shit better not turn into Fatal Attraction. I ignore your texts for days and you think I cant wait to see you??? REALLY?!?!?!

The UPS Guy + My Craigslist Ad= That Awkward Moment #BanteringThoughts

So if you’ve been following me you should know about the UPS Guy. I’ve been quite flirty with him for years and posted an ad on Craigslist gushing about him.

FF TODAY
I was luckily or( unluckily, however you may see it) to be working on a few aisles literally right next to the front door where he parks his truck before he comes in. He walks through the front door and there he was. A mere 20 feet away. Our eyes meet. I don’t sex face him. I quickly turn away. He didn’t have much of an expression…I felt so stupid. So he makes his deliveries and has to walk by me again. He’s moving quite slow if you ask me. He’s got this odd contemplative look on his face and he’s rubbing his hands in front of his chest and chin slowly. “What’s he thinking?!?!” Is all I can think. Probably about a way to avoid me, or how awkward and uncomfortable its going to be between us from now on now that he knows that I was the bold, insane girl that posted an ad on Craigslist. Or maybe he’s debating on a nice way to approach me and say “thanks but no thanks”. The cats out of the bag…Now I have to find a way to fix this without coming off as creepy. I called my Faux Granny (she’s an older woman I call my grandmother) and she says “Its not like you to just let things go like that. Im surprised you didn’t say hi. Just go up to him and say ‘hi’ ” Wtf granny??? I cant just go up to a guy and say “hi” as if nothing happened? Damn it. I feel like Rose from Two & A Half Men. Why do I put myself in uncomfortable situations such as these?

Me, Marley, Javier, and The Mexican. #WorkDrama

For some strange reason The Mexican (we work together) keeps asking me to go out with him every Friday or Saturday night.  Each and every time I say “NO.” He doesn’t get the hint.

The Frisky?

Marley likes The Mexican, romantically.

She and I are friends.

I made the mistake of  using her as an excuse to not go out with The Mexican last Friday. I said “Sorry, I cant. Marley likes you and we’re good friends.” I lied. I just don’t like him. At all. He flips out. “I promise, I don’t like her. Nothing will ever happen between her and I. She keeps telling people she likes me, it needs to stop because I don’t like her.” He wouldn’t take that or a “NO” for an answer. I ignore his ten, yes, TEN other incoming text messages for the night.

I express my frustrations with Javier only to find out why The Mexican keeps asking me out. I leave work and theres a text from Javi.

Javi : Hey…Um I may have told Marcella that two girls from the sales floor have a thing for The Mexican. Sooo that may be why he asked you out. MY BAD.

Me: Are you fucking kidding me?

Javi: Yeah, you guys told me about him. I didn’t know who he was so I asked marcell and she asked “why?” so I said two girls from the sales floor like him. It just came out. IM SO SORRY!!

So he thinks I like him. Gross. I’m sorry Im pursuing a career as a Sugar Baby. Retail stock boy is waaaay below my standards especially if he’s much older than me. Ewwww.

I have to clear this up. I text The Mexican.

Me: We need to talk.

Me: Why do you keep asking me out?

The Mexican: What are you talking about?

Me: Are you an idiot? Look when I said I wouldnt go out with you because marley likes you…I lied. Honestly it was unfair to her for me to use her as an excuse. I dont like you that way. Im not attracted to you at all.

He continues to tell me that he doesnt have feelings for her and how there would never be anything between them, ever.

Me: Doesn’t matter. I don’t like you the same way that you like me. Im sorry.

Him: Sorry okay bye. I delete your number okay sorry bye okay.

An Obvious, Yet Sad Realization: I’m being selfish. My thoughts, etc.

Although I work my ass off at 4 a.m. every morning I spend a lot of time thinking and I feel absolutely guilty, terrible, awful, and most importantly selfish.  I can only think about what High Roller can do for me.

The things I want,

what I could spend the money he gives me on :-/.

I feel so self centered and Im quite disgusted with myself.  So I know what a Sugar Daddy can do for me, but what can I do for him?

What can I possibly offer?

What do I do to make him happy?

How do I keep him interested?

He says I should quit my job but, honestly I like making a living and Id like to keeping scraping what I can. I like gifts, however money pays the bills. When I get a bill in the mail, I don’t think, “I wonder if their willing to barter…My Coach purse!” Life doesn’t work that way, ha ha. Oh how I wish it did.

Boys my age are easy to tease, lead on, playing cat and mouse is a game I MASTER.

How do I do it with an older man?

I Met Sherlock For The First Time Today!

So I was running errands for my grandmother today and got a text from Sherlock asking if I was working. He was at the electronics store a minute or two away. I was off but happened to be at my job anyway and met up with him. He was sweet, and tall. I expected him to be small and weak. We’re friends on Facebook so I only knew him from photos. Less than a minute of us departing he texts me “Youre really pretty, absolutely stunning.” He was sweet.

High Roller Night 3 ! With Gifts!

I met High Roller at our usual spot. Its so funny now that at the Casino people know who I am and who I’m with. So much so, I know some dealers by name. They know my Sugar Daddy and they know Im the young girl who tags along . High Roller and I had met and the first thing he did was offer to buy me a gift. There’s this cute boutique near the casino that sells accessories and I picked out this adorable $200.00 Juicy Couture purse! I love it. Im taking good care of it! My first Sugar Baby Gift! He and I made it a light night. We skipped the tables, no blackjack, no baccarat. We hit the slots. This guy has insane luck. Its quite clear he makes a good chunk of dough gambling.He was so adorable, he kept dancing every time he won more and more cash. Think of an Arab Dan Aykroyd dancing in front of a slot, lol. He handed me $300.00 cash and we headed out for dinner. Later on, we gave each other some soft lovin’ and called it a night.

The U.P.S. GUY (I Saw Him Again & Was Speechless)

So I fell asleep in my car during my lunch break and barely made it to the back to use the restroom. I was still asleep. I collect my things and head out to the floor and there he was. Literally standing 25 feet away. I stopped in my tracks. I cant believe I almost missed him! He was looking at some packages and a packing list. He got a hair cut. It looks nice but a bit ’50′s military-ish. It went with the brown suit. My mouth opened to say something but I was too struck. What do I say? Do I play it casual and just come out with it?

“Hey…So did the guys give you a hard time about my Craigslist ad?”

or do I play it cool?

“Hey Adam!” and walk away?

I stood there for a few seconds hoping he’d turn around see me so I can read his expression when he saw me. He was busy, too busy. I slowly walked out. Not sure if he saw me walking away. I needed to go back there again. I walk  back again and he’s standing in his truck. He stops, looks down. “Did he see me?” I couldn’t tell. I quickly get the time. I know what time frame he comes to the store. I pretend to look for some fixtures only to be caught by my work partner for the day. I quickly came up with an excuse as to why i was back there when we clearly had everything we needed. By the time i walked up again, he was pulling away. I asked the woman who receives our packages if theres anything wrong with the U.P.S. Guy and she looked at me confused and said “No….?”

‘Til next time I suppose